First of all, I'm sorry about not posting my second Spring Fix post yet. It's been a couple months in the making, but I can't find the right words to really nail down the experience like I want to.
Second of all, I leave for Cambodia in THREE WEEKS. I can't even believe it. I had a mini-melt down last week on my birthday because it is actually happening. I have been waiting so long for this, and sometimes I think it's all a dream. It doesn't feel real in the slightest. I have more stuff I want to say on the topic, but for now, here's to letting you all know that I am alive and well, and slightly overwhelmed.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Spring Fix - Part 1
I've been thinking about what I want to write in this post for over a week, and I'm still at a loss for all the words I need to express how much my Spring Break week meant to me.
Sunday - Orientation
Around 3:00pm on March 17th, I walked into the Robert Treat Hotel in Newark, just 45 minutes from my house, to sign in for my Alternative Spring Break: "Spring Fix," sponsored by MTV & United Way. After speaking with the team leaders for a little while, I followed somebody into the ballroom where there was already a group of about 20 people sitting, talking, and getting to know each other. I was confused, so I started to walk out, when somebody from the table called me over and asked if I had gotten my bag yet. I retrieved the bag with my name on it, and the label "wolf," and sat down to talk and play people bingo as we waited for everybody else to arrive.
After most people had gotten there, we played some icebreakers, ate dinner, and then got into our groups. There were 5 groups of 10 students each, with 2 team leaders: Wolf/Rockaway Beach, NY, Whale/Union Beach, NJ, Monkey/Staten Island, NY, Cow/Lavallette, NJ, and Raven/Long Beach, NY. My team was "Wolf," and little did I know how awesome of a label that would become over the week. The team members were Alex, David, David aka Utah, Lyssa aka Cali, Monica, Tom, Kia, Socrates, and Eric, and our team leaders were Jiles and Dara. After we did more icebreakers within our teams, we were free to do what we wanted for the rest of the night. A bunch of us hung out in Alex's room for awhile getting to know each other, and then we went our separate ways to recharge for our first day on the job.
Monday - Day One of Work
I woke up on time, for once in my life, and headed down to breakfast at 7:15am, which is the time the Wolfpack, as we had already started calling ourselves, had decided on the night before. I ended up eating with a mix of groups, and really started getting to know everybody. Around 8:00am, we piled into a 15-passenger van with our driver, Alex, and a cameraman, Patrick, and headed to Rockaway Beach.
Patrick interviewed the people in the front of the van as the rest of us joked around and really got to know each other on the way. By the time our hour-long commute was over, we were all basically great friends. On our way to the site, as we drove through Rockaway Beach, we saw how much damage was left from the storm. It was extremely jarring to know that almost 5 months had passed since Sandy hit, but there was still debris and proof of the storm everywhere. We drove past a boarded-up McDonald's, with phrases such as "Don't Bother, we don't have anything" spray-painted on the side of the building.
We arrived at the church we would be working in for the week, and it looked relatively okay from the outside, aside from a waterline. After a few camera takes outside of the church, we were ready to walk in and see the devastation. It was nothing like we had expected, to say the least. The water line inside of the basement of this church was 7 feet high and the basement was completely empty, save for two fish mobiles hanging from the ceiling in the large room.
After being told about what had exactly happened in the area, being told how Friends of Rockaway was formed, and meeting some of the AmeriCorps people we would be working with throughout the week, we were given a tour of the basement and shown where we would be working. First, we saw the kitchen, which still had pots and pan filled with water leftover from Sandy. The smell was absolutely disgusting, and the kitchen itself was in ruins. Then we were shown the two bathrooms, which would eventually become one as we tore down the wall between them. After that we were given tools and split into three groups: Kitchen, Bathroom 1, and Bathroom 2.
Dara, Lyssa, Socrates, and I made up the Bathroom 1 crew. We were tasked with taking down the walls, the toilets, the mirror, and the sinks, and breaking up the tile on the floor. We did this all day, making a serious dent in what we needed to accomplish over the week. In the middle of this back-breaking work, we were given a break for lunch, which our awesome driver Alex brought. I honestly can't remember what we ate, but the memories from lunch that do stick out are those of us getting to know each other and our AmeriCorps members better, and speaking with the Deacon.
Around 4pm, our dusty, dirty, grimy Wolfpack said goodbye to the site for the night and piled into our van to head back to Newark. We tried a shortcut to get back, but ended up sitting in traffic for 2 hours, so we arrived for dinner late and gross, but so happy for everything we accomplished during the day.
After dinner, each of the groups did a presentation, and that was when we learned that those of us in the Rockaways really had it hardest in the work we were doing, with the lack of power and heat. This is also when we presented the idea for a fundraiser that one of our team leaders had proposed, but I will talk more about that in the next entry. After the presentations, we played some games, and then we were left to our own devices for the evening.
Overall, day one of work was beyond amazing, and it only got better from there.
Sunday - Orientation
Around 3:00pm on March 17th, I walked into the Robert Treat Hotel in Newark, just 45 minutes from my house, to sign in for my Alternative Spring Break: "Spring Fix," sponsored by MTV & United Way. After speaking with the team leaders for a little while, I followed somebody into the ballroom where there was already a group of about 20 people sitting, talking, and getting to know each other. I was confused, so I started to walk out, when somebody from the table called me over and asked if I had gotten my bag yet. I retrieved the bag with my name on it, and the label "wolf," and sat down to talk and play people bingo as we waited for everybody else to arrive.
After most people had gotten there, we played some icebreakers, ate dinner, and then got into our groups. There were 5 groups of 10 students each, with 2 team leaders: Wolf/Rockaway Beach, NY, Whale/Union Beach, NJ, Monkey/Staten Island, NY, Cow/Lavallette, NJ, and Raven/Long Beach, NY. My team was "Wolf," and little did I know how awesome of a label that would become over the week. The team members were Alex, David, David aka Utah, Lyssa aka Cali, Monica, Tom, Kia, Socrates, and Eric, and our team leaders were Jiles and Dara. After we did more icebreakers within our teams, we were free to do what we wanted for the rest of the night. A bunch of us hung out in Alex's room for awhile getting to know each other, and then we went our separate ways to recharge for our first day on the job.
Monday - Day One of Work
I woke up on time, for once in my life, and headed down to breakfast at 7:15am, which is the time the Wolfpack, as we had already started calling ourselves, had decided on the night before. I ended up eating with a mix of groups, and really started getting to know everybody. Around 8:00am, we piled into a 15-passenger van with our driver, Alex, and a cameraman, Patrick, and headed to Rockaway Beach.
Patrick interviewed the people in the front of the van as the rest of us joked around and really got to know each other on the way. By the time our hour-long commute was over, we were all basically great friends. On our way to the site, as we drove through Rockaway Beach, we saw how much damage was left from the storm. It was extremely jarring to know that almost 5 months had passed since Sandy hit, but there was still debris and proof of the storm everywhere. We drove past a boarded-up McDonald's, with phrases such as "Don't Bother, we don't have anything" spray-painted on the side of the building.
We arrived at the church we would be working in for the week, and it looked relatively okay from the outside, aside from a waterline. After a few camera takes outside of the church, we were ready to walk in and see the devastation. It was nothing like we had expected, to say the least. The water line inside of the basement of this church was 7 feet high and the basement was completely empty, save for two fish mobiles hanging from the ceiling in the large room.
After being told about what had exactly happened in the area, being told how Friends of Rockaway was formed, and meeting some of the AmeriCorps people we would be working with throughout the week, we were given a tour of the basement and shown where we would be working. First, we saw the kitchen, which still had pots and pan filled with water leftover from Sandy. The smell was absolutely disgusting, and the kitchen itself was in ruins. Then we were shown the two bathrooms, which would eventually become one as we tore down the wall between them. After that we were given tools and split into three groups: Kitchen, Bathroom 1, and Bathroom 2.
Dara, Lyssa, Socrates, and I made up the Bathroom 1 crew. We were tasked with taking down the walls, the toilets, the mirror, and the sinks, and breaking up the tile on the floor. We did this all day, making a serious dent in what we needed to accomplish over the week. In the middle of this back-breaking work, we were given a break for lunch, which our awesome driver Alex brought. I honestly can't remember what we ate, but the memories from lunch that do stick out are those of us getting to know each other and our AmeriCorps members better, and speaking with the Deacon.
Around 4pm, our dusty, dirty, grimy Wolfpack said goodbye to the site for the night and piled into our van to head back to Newark. We tried a shortcut to get back, but ended up sitting in traffic for 2 hours, so we arrived for dinner late and gross, but so happy for everything we accomplished during the day.
After dinner, each of the groups did a presentation, and that was when we learned that those of us in the Rockaways really had it hardest in the work we were doing, with the lack of power and heat. This is also when we presented the idea for a fundraiser that one of our team leaders had proposed, but I will talk more about that in the next entry. After the presentations, we played some games, and then we were left to our own devices for the evening.
Overall, day one of work was beyond amazing, and it only got better from there.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Paperwork Galore!
I haven't even gotten all of my Medical Paperwork yet, and I still feel overwhelmed by all of it. Between the Cambodian Visa, the Peace Corps Passport, and all of the materials that I have to read about Cambodia, I feel swamped. I've written my Aspiration Statement, and I hate it, so I'm hoping to edit and maybe re-edit it some more until I find it adequate. I haven't even done the resume portion yet.
This is going to be interesting...
This is going to be interesting...
Saturday, March 9, 2013
INVITATION!!
Last night, I received my invitation. I'm going to...
That's right! I'll be going to Cambodia.
...
What will I be doing there?
Community Health Education! My job title specifically is "Health Education Extension Agent."
...
Have I accepted my invitation?
Of course!
...
It's actually happening! I can't believe it! It's actually happening!
I'm going to be a member of the Peace Corps! I've dreamed of this moment for over a decade.
...
I promise that a more detailed post will come later, but for the next few days I want to bask in the glory of this invitation. When the paperwork comes, well, I will probably write a post to procrastinate! Haha
That's right! I'll be going to Cambodia.
...
What will I be doing there?
Community Health Education! My job title specifically is "Health Education Extension Agent."
...
Have I accepted my invitation?
Of course!
...
It's actually happening! I can't believe it! It's actually happening!
I'm going to be a member of the Peace Corps! I've dreamed of this moment for over a decade.
...
I promise that a more detailed post will come later, but for the next few days I want to bask in the glory of this invitation. When the paperwork comes, well, I will probably write a post to procrastinate! Haha
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
I am Terrified. Absolutely terrified, and tired. So tired.
So what is this post about? My current feelings regarding leaving for the Peace Corps, since it is actually going to happen! It's only a matter of time...
I want to preface this by saying I like to be 100% honest in my blog posts. I won't sugarcoat my feelings, but rather, I will lay them out raw and unprocessed, for you to digest in your own way. With that being said...
I am downright, absolutely, beyond all measure terrified. And that is exhilarating to an extent, but it is also making me nervous. I know that it is okay to be afraid, and that this is a completely normal response to the unknown, since, at the moment, I have no idea where I am going or when I am leaving.
I am scared of leaving the comfort of my home. I am scared of leaving the people I care for dearly. I'm scared of the possibility that I may never see some of them again, through acts of fate or through old age or just through plain bad circumstances. I'm scared of changing for the worse; hell, I'm scared of changing for the better. I like who I am at this moment in time. I am finally 99% comfortable with who I am and what I believe, and I'm about the shake that up. I know that the experience will irreversibly change me. I'm open to it, and afraid.
I'm scared of so many of the normal things that come with moving on to new things: Will the other volunteers like me? Will I like my host family? Will I like where I live? What if I do something embarrassing? I've "started over," in a sense, so many times before that I know that these feelings are completely normal and come with the territory. But, knowing that I am starting over in a culture probably completely different from my own is amplifying these questions in my mind.
It's no wonder I'm tired when I spend a good portion of my day thinking about these things! But these are not the only reason I am tired...
I'm tired of people questioning my sanity, my intentions, and my future. One of the families that I tutor for has been rather mean about the whole thing: "What about your schooling? What about the MCAT? Don't you think you should stay until you are done completely? I think you should stay and wait to do this later; it really is in your best interest." No, just no. I have been working for you for 8 months, but I have to known I have wanted to do this for the past decade of my life, and I'm the one who has to live with myself in the end. I can always replicate schooling. I cannot replicate everything that the Peace Corps has to offer.
I'm tired of certain people looking at this as a joke, as another phase. It isn't. I have never been so set on something in my entire life. Why would I waste 2 years trying to get in if it wasn't what I truly wanted?
I'm just tired of having to explain myself, honestly. I want to do this. I know that I've wanted to do this for a very long time. There is just so much that can come from this experience.
I'm tired of answering why, but I will continue to, because my answer is "Why not?"
I will follow my dreams. I will not let fear guide me.
I want to preface this by saying I like to be 100% honest in my blog posts. I won't sugarcoat my feelings, but rather, I will lay them out raw and unprocessed, for you to digest in your own way. With that being said...
I am downright, absolutely, beyond all measure terrified. And that is exhilarating to an extent, but it is also making me nervous. I know that it is okay to be afraid, and that this is a completely normal response to the unknown, since, at the moment, I have no idea where I am going or when I am leaving.
I am scared of leaving the comfort of my home. I am scared of leaving the people I care for dearly. I'm scared of the possibility that I may never see some of them again, through acts of fate or through old age or just through plain bad circumstances. I'm scared of changing for the worse; hell, I'm scared of changing for the better. I like who I am at this moment in time. I am finally 99% comfortable with who I am and what I believe, and I'm about the shake that up. I know that the experience will irreversibly change me. I'm open to it, and afraid.
I'm scared of so many of the normal things that come with moving on to new things: Will the other volunteers like me? Will I like my host family? Will I like where I live? What if I do something embarrassing? I've "started over," in a sense, so many times before that I know that these feelings are completely normal and come with the territory. But, knowing that I am starting over in a culture probably completely different from my own is amplifying these questions in my mind.
It's no wonder I'm tired when I spend a good portion of my day thinking about these things! But these are not the only reason I am tired...
I'm tired of people questioning my sanity, my intentions, and my future. One of the families that I tutor for has been rather mean about the whole thing: "What about your schooling? What about the MCAT? Don't you think you should stay until you are done completely? I think you should stay and wait to do this later; it really is in your best interest." No, just no. I have been working for you for 8 months, but I have to known I have wanted to do this for the past decade of my life, and I'm the one who has to live with myself in the end. I can always replicate schooling. I cannot replicate everything that the Peace Corps has to offer.
I'm tired of certain people looking at this as a joke, as another phase. It isn't. I have never been so set on something in my entire life. Why would I waste 2 years trying to get in if it wasn't what I truly wanted?
I'm just tired of having to explain myself, honestly. I want to do this. I know that I've wanted to do this for a very long time. There is just so much that can come from this experience.
I'm tired of answering why, but I will continue to, because my answer is "Why not?"
I will follow my dreams. I will not let fear guide me.
Friday, March 1, 2013
So Many Updates!
I'm sorry I haven't been writing. Between 30 hours of tutoring a week, and a full course load (Bio, Chem, Physics, & Calc), I haven't had much of a spare moment, but...
I did hear from Peace Corps.
So basically, I had to re-start from the beginning, sort of. I had to fill out the application, which took me about 4 hours one night (yay for saving the first time around). So I did that, but then there was some confusion, so I was going through the beginning of the application process and Medical Pre-Clearance at the same time. I got Medically Cleared (FINALLY!), and then I had my interview and was told I would be nominated. My recruiter was really nice, and was totally on my side.
I interviewed on Friday, February 8th, (exactly 2 years and 1 week from my original interview), and was nominated on Valentine's Day after checking in with my recruiter. No leave date, no placement, no region, just that I was nominated.
I called the Placement Officer I had spoken to in December last Wednesday, after emailing the previous Friday but hearing nothing, and he called me back within 2 hours to explain that I was basically at Placement, they just had to wait until my Applicant Portal was updated. He said I would know within a few weeks, and that I would most likely be leaving in June or July. I checked on Tuesday, and that has been updated to Legal Clearance, so now I'm just waiting. I emailed my Placement Officer today, so I'm hoping to hear tomorrow, especially since last Friday there was an influx of Invitations, according to the Facebook Group.
So now we wait.
But FINALLY! Yay!
I did hear from Peace Corps.
So basically, I had to re-start from the beginning, sort of. I had to fill out the application, which took me about 4 hours one night (yay for saving the first time around). So I did that, but then there was some confusion, so I was going through the beginning of the application process and Medical Pre-Clearance at the same time. I got Medically Cleared (FINALLY!), and then I had my interview and was told I would be nominated. My recruiter was really nice, and was totally on my side.
I interviewed on Friday, February 8th, (exactly 2 years and 1 week from my original interview), and was nominated on Valentine's Day after checking in with my recruiter. No leave date, no placement, no region, just that I was nominated.
I called the Placement Officer I had spoken to in December last Wednesday, after emailing the previous Friday but hearing nothing, and he called me back within 2 hours to explain that I was basically at Placement, they just had to wait until my Applicant Portal was updated. He said I would know within a few weeks, and that I would most likely be leaving in June or July. I checked on Tuesday, and that has been updated to Legal Clearance, so now I'm just waiting. I emailed my Placement Officer today, so I'm hoping to hear tomorrow, especially since last Friday there was an influx of Invitations, according to the Facebook Group.
So now we wait.
But FINALLY! Yay!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
The Little Things
- Waking up in a new city after traveling a long distance, and feeling nothing but refreshed and ready to explore. And maybe a little sick.
- Meeting a new friend in a hostel.
- The way, when the night is just dark enough, and there are just the right amount of cars on the street, watching the taillights in front of you makes it look like people are driving into the sky.
- That first hug from that special person after being away for awhile.
- Getting behind the wheel after a 2 month hiatus.
- Climbing a steep hill, friends and pineapples in tow, and watching the sun set over the mountains in the distance.
- Peeing in a hole, and then the subsequent joy of finding a Western toilet.
- Water pressure after long periods of bucket showers.
- Feeling comfortable, even if you can't speak a word of the local language.
- Laughing with your home stay family, because it is the only way you can communicate.
- Dubbed soap operas.
- Fast internet access.
- Finding love in a place you never thought possible.
- Walking everywhere, and feeling the effect it has on your mood, your mind, and your body.
- Fresh tropical fruit.
- Clothes that fit perfectly, because they were tailored that way.
- Seeing social justice in action.
- Instant coffee on a 40+ train ride.
- Friends who also have the travel bug.
- Sleeping on airplanes.
- Sleeping on trains.
- Sleeping in cars.
- Sleeping in airports.
- The wind whipping your hair across your face as you pass a national monument, for free.
- Eating strange food, and discovering you like it.
- Not realizing you picked up local slang until someone points it out.
- Chocolate after a hard day.
- Waterfalls.
- Castle ruins.
- Watching the sun rise over the Atlantic.
- Watching the sun set over the Pacific.
- Warm sand and cold salt water.
- Meeting a new friend in a hostel.
- The way, when the night is just dark enough, and there are just the right amount of cars on the street, watching the taillights in front of you makes it look like people are driving into the sky.
- That first hug from that special person after being away for awhile.
- Getting behind the wheel after a 2 month hiatus.
- Climbing a steep hill, friends and pineapples in tow, and watching the sun set over the mountains in the distance.
- Peeing in a hole, and then the subsequent joy of finding a Western toilet.
- Water pressure after long periods of bucket showers.
- Feeling comfortable, even if you can't speak a word of the local language.
- Laughing with your home stay family, because it is the only way you can communicate.
- Dubbed soap operas.
- Fast internet access.
- Finding love in a place you never thought possible.
- Walking everywhere, and feeling the effect it has on your mood, your mind, and your body.
- Fresh tropical fruit.
- Clothes that fit perfectly, because they were tailored that way.
- Seeing social justice in action.
- Instant coffee on a 40+ train ride.
- Friends who also have the travel bug.
- Sleeping on airplanes.
- Sleeping on trains.
- Sleeping in cars.
- Sleeping in airports.
- The wind whipping your hair across your face as you pass a national monument, for free.
- Eating strange food, and discovering you like it.
- Not realizing you picked up local slang until someone points it out.
- Chocolate after a hard day.
- Waterfalls.
- Castle ruins.
- Watching the sun rise over the Atlantic.
- Watching the sun set over the Pacific.
- Warm sand and cold salt water.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Making an Impact
I know I may get in trouble for this, but it has to be said in order to make my point for the post, as it is where my inspiration hit: My dad got laid off this week. My dad has worked for the company his entire life, and they decided that they didn't need him anymore, which is pretty ungrateful of them if you ask me.
The biggest thing I have gleaned from this event, after speaking to my dad is that he made such an impact on the people that worked for him, that some of them cried when he was laid off. He didn't even cry when he was laid off. For somebody to shed tears for the unfortunate events that befall another human being... that takes a connection, a deep connection. Shallow connections are easily made and easily broken, but deeper connections take longer to form, although they can be broken on a certain level fairly easily.
I'm about to get seriously lovey-dovey here, so if you're not into it, don't read any further...
My parents are honestly two of the most amazing people I know. I teared up recently trying to explain to somebody how amazing and wonderful my parents are. They are two very different people (my mom is loud, the first on the dance floor, and fiercely protective whereas my dad is quiet, would prefer to sit and people watch, and lets my brother and I make our own mistakes before jumping in to see what he can do to help), yet they both have big hearts and open arms. It's extremely hard to explain if you don't know them, but they are warm and would do anything to help somebody else.
My dad is a volunteer fire police person, and before that, he was a volunteer fireman for years. When I have a free day and want to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity, he always goes with me. He used to give blood regularly, which inspired me to continue the legacy. Whenever he had to lay anybody in his office off, he would help them to find a new job. He kept in touch with former employees, and even helped them if they needed it. He used to help me and my cast mates build sets for our theater productions in high school. My dad is amazing.
My mom gave up a job as an executive secretary, and the money that came with it, to make sure my brother and I had somebody to come home to everyday. She made us snacks, picked us up when we missed the buses (regularly), and always had a hug for us, even when she was also having a bad day. Her youngest sister passed away 4 years ago this month, and she still posts in her online memory book for every birthday and Christmas. She puts family first, and would do anything to see my brother, me, or her godson happy. She puts up with people who shouldn't even be breathing to same air as her in order to make him happy. My mom is wonderful.
My parents were always the ones that drove my friends and me around before any of us has licenses. They haven't missed a single one of my brother's football games (that's 6 years of Saturdays)! They never missed a show I was in. Each of them came to visit me, on the other side of the country, at some point during my college time. Hell, they let me go to college on the other side of the country. Both of them have given up so much to make sure my brother and I are happy and healthy human beings. They instilled in us valuing family over money, working hard, laughing easily, and helping others.
I love my parents more than they know, and I am so grateful that they are mine.
So what does all of this gushing about how wonderful my parents are have to do with making an impact?
Everything.
I want to be able to leave a legacy like the ones my parents have. They aren't perfect, but none of us are. They are amazing human beings, who give up a lot to make others happy. I experience the impact of their love every day of my life, and I see it before me. They truly want to make the world better for my brother and me, and they are doing a wonderful job of it.
I truly am the person I am because of my parents, and I want to be just like them.
The biggest thing I have gleaned from this event, after speaking to my dad is that he made such an impact on the people that worked for him, that some of them cried when he was laid off. He didn't even cry when he was laid off. For somebody to shed tears for the unfortunate events that befall another human being... that takes a connection, a deep connection. Shallow connections are easily made and easily broken, but deeper connections take longer to form, although they can be broken on a certain level fairly easily.
I'm about to get seriously lovey-dovey here, so if you're not into it, don't read any further...
My parents are honestly two of the most amazing people I know. I teared up recently trying to explain to somebody how amazing and wonderful my parents are. They are two very different people (my mom is loud, the first on the dance floor, and fiercely protective whereas my dad is quiet, would prefer to sit and people watch, and lets my brother and I make our own mistakes before jumping in to see what he can do to help), yet they both have big hearts and open arms. It's extremely hard to explain if you don't know them, but they are warm and would do anything to help somebody else.
My dad is a volunteer fire police person, and before that, he was a volunteer fireman for years. When I have a free day and want to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity, he always goes with me. He used to give blood regularly, which inspired me to continue the legacy. Whenever he had to lay anybody in his office off, he would help them to find a new job. He kept in touch with former employees, and even helped them if they needed it. He used to help me and my cast mates build sets for our theater productions in high school. My dad is amazing.
My mom gave up a job as an executive secretary, and the money that came with it, to make sure my brother and I had somebody to come home to everyday. She made us snacks, picked us up when we missed the buses (regularly), and always had a hug for us, even when she was also having a bad day. Her youngest sister passed away 4 years ago this month, and she still posts in her online memory book for every birthday and Christmas. She puts family first, and would do anything to see my brother, me, or her godson happy. She puts up with people who shouldn't even be breathing to same air as her in order to make him happy. My mom is wonderful.
My parents were always the ones that drove my friends and me around before any of us has licenses. They haven't missed a single one of my brother's football games (that's 6 years of Saturdays)! They never missed a show I was in. Each of them came to visit me, on the other side of the country, at some point during my college time. Hell, they let me go to college on the other side of the country. Both of them have given up so much to make sure my brother and I are happy and healthy human beings. They instilled in us valuing family over money, working hard, laughing easily, and helping others.
I love my parents more than they know, and I am so grateful that they are mine.
So what does all of this gushing about how wonderful my parents are have to do with making an impact?
Everything.
I want to be able to leave a legacy like the ones my parents have. They aren't perfect, but none of us are. They are amazing human beings, who give up a lot to make others happy. I experience the impact of their love every day of my life, and I see it before me. They truly want to make the world better for my brother and me, and they are doing a wonderful job of it.
I truly am the person I am because of my parents, and I want to be just like them.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
New Year's Resolutions
Normally, I try not to make a list of resolutions, because I know I will only be disappointed that I didn't do any of them in the end. But this year is different. I can't exactly put my finger on it, or put it into words, but I feel that these resolutions are not only possible, but also very plausible in the scheme of my life. Here they are, so you can hold me to them:
1) Be living somewhere aside from New Jersey by December 2013. - This one is pretty self-explanatory. I just don't want to be here. Whether it be abroad, San Diego, or NYC, I just want to be out of Jersey, for good.
2) Drink more coffee and less flavored drinks. - Now, this one needs some background to it. I am addicted to lattes. When I say this, I am not kidding. I drink an average of 2 a day, and spend over $50 a week at Starbucks alone. This has become a huge problem for me, so instead of going cold-turkey off of caffeine, I plan on downgrading to plain coffee, one sugar, and milk, rather than the Pumpkin Spice Latte or Caramel Brulee Latte that I drink every day. I wasn't kidding about being addicted. Not only will I be saving money, but I will be saving calories that can be used for other yummy things instead!
3) Reach out to people more often. - If you know me if real life, you know that I am a super sentimental person. This resolution is not for my friends, but for the people who I have had friendships with in the past, who are no longer considered friends, or for strangers. Listening to a random person share a story is a beautiful consequence of being surrounded by people you don't know. I want to hear everybody's stories. I want to reach out to old friends and let them know how much they have meant to me in life. I just want people to know how appreciated they are.
4) Start running again. - This has absolutely nothing to do with "looking good" and everything to do with "feeling good." I used to be in good shape, nothing major, but I was able to climb stairs without having to catch my breath at the top. Now, if I'm carrying books or if I have my backpack on, by the time I get to the top of the stairs, I'm huffing and puffing. I hate that feeling, and so I will resolve it.
5) Say what I mean. - I won't say yes if the intention isn't there, and I won't say no, just because I'm scared. I won't nitpick just to have something to say. I think this one will be the hardest, not only because I like to talk a lot, but I'm also somewhat of a people-pleaser.
6) Finish what I start. - This means the current B.S. in Biology that I started as a second degree, even though it is basically just a cover for some Pre-Med classes. This means finishing my DONA paperwork. I hate paperwork. This means actually working on my novel, instead of just letting the ideas for it sit in my head, too afraid of criticism to be put onto the page.
7) Make life simpler for myself. - I need to throw out or donate more clothing. I donated 8 bags (EIGHT!!) full of clothing over the summer, and I still take up two closets. This means going through paperwork I've had for years, and releasing it to the trash gods. This means de-friending mass amounts of people on facebook. This means making a schedule (especially for sleep), and sticking to it. This means not participating in gossip, not complaining, and overall not opening my mouth when it shouldn't be open. Let's see how this one works out for me, because I am the queen of complex.
8) Be less anxious. - This will be really hard to do, because I have an anxiety disorder (yay GAD!), but I drive myself nuts sometimes just thinking, thinking, thinking. I am going to sincerely try meditating daily. I've heard that it can work wonders, especially the better you get at it.
and last but not least (since nine is my favorite number)...
9) Write more. - I've obviously written a lot this month because I have time, and because the end of the year always happens to bring more inspiration. But I need to be proactive in finding inspiration. I need to not worry what people are going to say about what I've said. I need to practice my writing, so that I don't lose the skills I've built up through years and years and years of writing. I need to sit and practice, rather than wait for inspiration to strike. Writing is like breathing for me, but I need to do more of it, especially the deep stuff.
1) Be living somewhere aside from New Jersey by December 2013. - This one is pretty self-explanatory. I just don't want to be here. Whether it be abroad, San Diego, or NYC, I just want to be out of Jersey, for good.
2) Drink more coffee and less flavored drinks. - Now, this one needs some background to it. I am addicted to lattes. When I say this, I am not kidding. I drink an average of 2 a day, and spend over $50 a week at Starbucks alone. This has become a huge problem for me, so instead of going cold-turkey off of caffeine, I plan on downgrading to plain coffee, one sugar, and milk, rather than the Pumpkin Spice Latte or Caramel Brulee Latte that I drink every day. I wasn't kidding about being addicted. Not only will I be saving money, but I will be saving calories that can be used for other yummy things instead!
3) Reach out to people more often. - If you know me if real life, you know that I am a super sentimental person. This resolution is not for my friends, but for the people who I have had friendships with in the past, who are no longer considered friends, or for strangers. Listening to a random person share a story is a beautiful consequence of being surrounded by people you don't know. I want to hear everybody's stories. I want to reach out to old friends and let them know how much they have meant to me in life. I just want people to know how appreciated they are.
4) Start running again. - This has absolutely nothing to do with "looking good" and everything to do with "feeling good." I used to be in good shape, nothing major, but I was able to climb stairs without having to catch my breath at the top. Now, if I'm carrying books or if I have my backpack on, by the time I get to the top of the stairs, I'm huffing and puffing. I hate that feeling, and so I will resolve it.
5) Say what I mean. - I won't say yes if the intention isn't there, and I won't say no, just because I'm scared. I won't nitpick just to have something to say. I think this one will be the hardest, not only because I like to talk a lot, but I'm also somewhat of a people-pleaser.
6) Finish what I start. - This means the current B.S. in Biology that I started as a second degree, even though it is basically just a cover for some Pre-Med classes. This means finishing my DONA paperwork. I hate paperwork. This means actually working on my novel, instead of just letting the ideas for it sit in my head, too afraid of criticism to be put onto the page.
7) Make life simpler for myself. - I need to throw out or donate more clothing. I donated 8 bags (EIGHT!!) full of clothing over the summer, and I still take up two closets. This means going through paperwork I've had for years, and releasing it to the trash gods. This means de-friending mass amounts of people on facebook. This means making a schedule (especially for sleep), and sticking to it. This means not participating in gossip, not complaining, and overall not opening my mouth when it shouldn't be open. Let's see how this one works out for me, because I am the queen of complex.
8) Be less anxious. - This will be really hard to do, because I have an anxiety disorder (yay GAD!), but I drive myself nuts sometimes just thinking, thinking, thinking. I am going to sincerely try meditating daily. I've heard that it can work wonders, especially the better you get at it.
and last but not least (since nine is my favorite number)...
9) Write more. - I've obviously written a lot this month because I have time, and because the end of the year always happens to bring more inspiration. But I need to be proactive in finding inspiration. I need to not worry what people are going to say about what I've said. I need to practice my writing, so that I don't lose the skills I've built up through years and years and years of writing. I need to sit and practice, rather than wait for inspiration to strike. Writing is like breathing for me, but I need to do more of it, especially the deep stuff.
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