Saturday, November 10, 2012

I'm Not Quite Sure

Right now, I'm not quite sure why I am writing, or what I am doing, but all I know is I'm having this intense need to express to all of those who choose to read this...

At this point in my life, there are few things I am sure about, and even those could change. I am sure I want to get an MD. This is, in fact, the only true thing I am 100% sure about at the moment. It's been a long and strange path to that conclusion, but it's like I've been both attracted and repelled by the idea for years, without fully realizing it. I had such a calm come over me when I made the decision, that it was actually pretty scary.

I'm 90% sure that I want to have a child or children in the future. I posted about this on my facebook a few weeks ago, but I know that if I want to become a parent, I want to do it in a way that I feel is "right," and as an MD, I'm not sure I could devote the time and attention that a child needs or that I would like to give to a child, which is why I am not 100% sure.

I'm 75% sure that I want to spend a large portion of the next 10 or 20 years traveling. This really needs no explanation, except for maybe why it is as low as 75%, but that can be explained by my post about living in a small town, really.

I still want to spend some significant time working abroad before I go to Medical School, and not just to stand out as an applicant, but also to get some real world, on-the-ground experience with issues surrounding Global Health. Right now, I'm hoping that my Peace Corps nomination in "Health Education" holds up, and they send me somewhere where I can not only teach, but also help out in clinics in whatever way possible. I have, however, looked into alternatives to the Peace Corps that won't cost me my life savings. The Global Health Corps is starting to look like a really good option if the Peace Corps decides that I am not fit for service.

...

I constantly feel like I am doing too much, but not enough. I know that this is a strange phenomenon, but I know that it is not unique to me. In fact, I know a lot of people that feel this way.

I volunteer whenever I can. I do my schoolwork. I work two jobs. And it still feels like there is something I am forgetting to do, which I can never really find. It's a strange but interesting feeling.

...

I live in a part of the country that was affected by Hurricane Sandy. People are both amazing and terrible, all at the same time. I have known this for a long time, but it still gives me pause.

...

This has just become a collection of thoughts. Have a good weekend.

9 comments:

Optimistic Existentialist said...

"intense need to express"...sounds like the very reason that I began blogging myself :) I really love your blog and I am glad that I found it this morning! May I follow?

M.F. said...

Of course! Feel free to. I'm honored :)

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Then I will follow you! Feel free to follow mine as well :)

Anonymous said...

Can I just say reading your blog this past weekend in its entirety (well for the most part)was awesome, especially since you linked me to other great blogs. Your posts are awesome in there sheer transparency and subtle strength I wish I could write like you but alas...anyway got some questions for you hope you can answer...

I am still in the infancy stage of my application submitted October 1, 2012 (my recruiter hasn't set up an interview yet nor has she let me know she has received my references). She has been helpful in answering a series of questions I sent her about a week ago, but no word since then. I can't help but wonder a few things.

Well, I sent her another series of questions this past weekend, I specifically wanted to get nomination as a health volunteer so I wanted to know what they looked for in candidates who got picked for this position? Was that a bad move? Showing "inflexibility".

I will just say it, I studied Spanish in college, and have been to Mexico, the Caribbean, and South America, but those short stints of time are not enough to absorb a language. I would like a nomination and subsequent invitation to Central/South America or Spanish speaking Caribbean, I feel like the ball is in my court and I should ask for my departure date to be changed to Jan. or Feb. to ensure a nomination and invitation to these countries (based on wiki and extensive research). Is that bonkers. My current departure date is October 2013.

Any answers would be great.

M.F. said...

Hi Anonymous! I wish you had left some contact info, I totally would've emailed you.

Peace Corps definitely looks for flexibility in a candidate, but it is understandable that you want to be placed in something that you love. When I had my interview, I let my recruiter know that, although I had a lot of teaching experience, I also had a lot of health experience, and that was my preference for nomination. And Health Extension is what I was nominated for, so it can't necessarily be a bad thing. As long as you have some experience in it, and you talk in out with your recruiter, you should be fine.

As for language, I can't really advise you there. I have heard of people knowing the language of a country that Peace Corps is in, only to be sent somewhere completely different.

Only change your departure date if that is when you can actually leave. Trust me on this, many people who are nominated for a certain region do not end up in that region. Also, I've heard this from quite a few volunteers, but you never know what you may enjoy. You could have your heart set on one thing, wind up somewhere else, and absolutely love it.

If you are on Facebook, have you joined the "Future Peace Corps Volunteers" group? It makes for a great place to ask questions and get a gauge on what other volunteers are experiencing.

Let me know if you have any other questions! Have a good rest of the week!

Anonymous said...

Hi I sent you an email some weeks ago. Please let me know if you received it.

Anonymous said...

I hope I didn't offend you with my email. Please let me know if I did.

InfinityOfIdeas said...

Do you as a rule exclusively for your blog or you do that for other Internet or offline portals?

M.F. said...

Hi Infinity! I'm unsure of what you are asking. Did you forget a word?

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