So, I know it's been over a month since I last wrote, but I'm not going to be hard on myself. Instead, I'm going to adjust. Instead of trying to update weekly, and failing, I'm going to attempt to update twice a month. Not too bad of goal, methinks.
Anyway, since it is now 2012, and my deferral is lifted in June of this year, I emailed the Peace Corps Medical Office to see what was up and the steps I would have to take to get this pesky (and, in my opinion, undeserved) deferral lifted. So my Peace Corps Medical Nurse person emailed me back saying that I have to see a psychiatrist three times and be evaluated by a test, etc. I thought this is wasn't going to be a big deal, because I can just space out those three sessions in February, April, and June, and then send the paperwork along.
But! It turns out ALL 3 sessions need to be in or after June in order to count, since that was when I "last had symptoms." (No, it wasn't, and yes, it's a complicated story, but it is in the archives if you want to look it up because I don't feel like re-hashing it.) It doesn't matter how spaced out these sessions are, as long as there are three. If I felt like pushing my luck, I would just go to see a therapist three days in a row and send my paperwork in after that, but I'm going to put a week in between each of those sessions. Which means I won't even get my regular, non-mental health packet until the middle of July probably, which is, ready for this? ... a grand total of 19 MONTHS since I first applied.
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but that isn't in my personality as it is. I'm applying to other things and planning other things and working, just in case, after all of this, it doesn't work out, but I am still holding on to hope.
Seriously though (and this is going to be a mini-rant, so feel free to skip this paragraph), wouldn't evaluations over the course of a few months be a much better indicator of my mental health than evaluations over a three week period? Like, I understand why I was deferred, even if I don't agree with it. It was a terrible stroke of bad luck that my deferral was pushed further. But now, seriously, you want me to go see a therapist, talk to them for a grand total of 3 hours, and decide with that whether or not I am capable of handling myself for two years?! It's just altogether too frustrating for words sometimes.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing wonderfully, if any of you have stuck around to read this! I will update my PC Timeline sometime soon. I'm also going to write another post before the month is over, but it is mostly going to be about my feelings, because this is the month I was nominated to leave. *le sigh*
1 comment:
Hey there. I am a current PCV in Paraguay. My application process with the Peace Corps took 2 years, and I was also jerked around a lot (the Peace Corps delayed my application for a year because I broke up with my boyfriend, for starters). There's a few things I want to share with you:
1) Advice that a former PCV gave to me: Don't put all your eggs in one basket. The Peace Corps is definitely interested in you: one day you WILL get an invitation; it's just a question of when. Continue with your normal life, your job, your friends. Find things to do in the meantime. Don't trust that your leave date will be true- my leave date was supposed to be February 2011, then they called in January and said Congratulations, I was leaving in May instead. They will continue to throw you throw hoops- but if this is your dream, you have to roll with the punches. So my advice is, don't put your life on hold or have expectations that you will be leaving at a certain date- and when the Peace Corps finally does offer you a position, you can make the decision then whether it's right for you.
2) Like I said, I was jerked around a lot during my application process. During the time I was extremely frustrated and at a few points I considered just giving up. I can't believe I'm saying this a year later, but I'm really glad it was so hard. It REALLY forced me to realize how important the Peace Corps was in my life, that it was my ultimate dream to be a Volunteer. This is honestly what gets me through the hardest days in my service- remembering how much I wanted it. Being a PCV is extremely challenging- the isolation, loneliness, and culture shock is no joke. But you will remember at the end of the day this is your dream, and you'll stick it out because of it. So don't despair.
3) Remember that if the Peace Corps is really your dream, and it sounds like it is (because who would allow themselves to be put through this if it wasn't?)- don't give up, don't take no for an answer from them. I was initially rejected from the Peace Corps when I applied- and I stood up and said No. Three years later, I'm a Peace Corps Volunteer in Paraguay. I am living my dream. You will too. Just have patience. Breathe. Enjoy the life you have now, and know that someday you will get there.
With all of that being said, I remember how agonizing the wait was.
Love and Support,
Brittany
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