Throwback: May 18, 2009

May 18th, 2009 was the first day of the trip that changed my life for the better. It was the day I left the U.S. to travel to Tanzania for the first (and so far, only) time in my life. I think it's fun to reflect on past thoughts, so here is my journal entry from that date. My, how much things change, and how much they stay the same!

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So my first notebook isn't an actual notebook. It's this thing, this puzzle book. I remembered everything else but I forgot to pack myself a notebook. :( Right now, I'm sitting in the airport wondering what the hell I am doing. Why did I have to do this now? I've only been home a week and I already have to re-leave everyone I love. I want to cry and scream and cry some more. I am so stupid. No, I really want to do this. I need adventure in my life, something to challenge me, something to change me for the better. Besides, if I can't handle 2 months, how am I supposed to last 2 years in the Peace Corps? I just have to suck it up and live with it. I think I would feel a whole hell of a lot better about this if I had my cell phone and it worked overseas. I'm nervous and scared and I didn't want to leave so soon. I just want to spend time with my family and relax and enjoy summer. But I also just want to do something different, out of the ordinary, something challenging to me. I mean, something that challenges me. I need to know that this is what I want to do, that this is something I was made to do.